What's wrong with me?

Im in Sabah right now, I'll be back on Monday. Left for the airport late so we reached late... Managed to get on-board just in time. The flight was killer considering that I have been having back problems for the past 2 days already. Reached Tawau, Sabah after a 2 hour and 45 minutes flight...
Met my uncle at the airport and left for Semporna. Was VERY bored because I had no idea what we were gonna do. In the end, all we did was look at some GIANT fish and drove back to my uncle's place which is in Sandakan. The drive there was gruesome... It was a 5 hour drive...
When we reached there, I, being my usual self, WAS FREAKING HUNGRY!!! So we all took a bath, and went for dinner. Had RAW LOBSTER for APPETIZER! Cool right? It brought my boredom mood totally back up. I ate until I was TOTALLY STUFFED with SEAFOOD!!!
Then we came back to the apartment and now Im blogging, being bored and being down for I dont know why. Maybe cause Im worrying about that thing... Damn lar... Im supposed to be relaxing, yet Im working my brain off by worrying about something that isn't happening to me...
WHAT IN BLOODY HELL IS WRONG WITH ME???

Im Sorry

Dont know whether you will read this post or not. We have yet again dissapointed you. I really dont know what to say lar. All I can say is that Im sorry. I really can't attend today. If I could, I would. And you know that everyone is scared of you when you are angry. Most of us dont have any actual reasons for not passing up the forms.

Im sorry(Im sure all of us are too), Sir Tan Kok Keong.

Thank you

For making the last day worthful. I make it seem like Im never seeing you again when I will see you in about 2 weeks time... LOL! I wonder how you will be before the thing... Hopefully you'll be fine before AND after the thing. Im sure you'll be fine right? HAHA

Final words:

Orewa-no, Phei Fern-san, daisuki desu.

Now I have reason to say it.

Im sorry I didn't talk to you today even though it was my last day seeing you. Im really sorry. I just didn't want to piss you off. I thought that if I was with them on that side you'd be fine with it and that you would think 'Thank God he's not here to piss me off today'. Seriously, that's what I think you would think. I hope that sentence is correct.
Im really sorry. And I really hope that you will lose your anger before the thing, it's important that your pressure is normal.

I hope you know that where you are I wish you well.

Perfect line for me to say to you. Good luck, and dont leave.

Seriously, alot of us would cry if that happened, GOOD LUCK!!!

Last Post in A Long, Long Time...Hopefully

You know, come to think of it,

IF I never did, do anything I did to help us have a good

friendship-bonding time,

I wouldn't be so hurt.

If I never helped you go for the trip,

I wouldn't be so left alone and hurt

and maybe perhaps have

a better time myself there.

Come to think of it,

I wonder wether you still do

appreciate or even remember

all the things I did for you.

Still wonder wether you actually

was touched by what I did for you or even cared about what I did.

I guess not

Why? Well, cause, you didn't

keep your promise.

How do I know wether you did or didn't?

I don't need to.

I can see it straight in your actions.

You don't even give a damn about everthing I do or did for you.

Maybe if you did, only little.

Not much to be considered as your friend.

So What The hell right?

DID&DO

What a lonely day

I didn't go to school today because I was expecting Beh and Seng Yew to come to my house... In the end, the plan had to be changed. So I was at home feeling lonely and thinking about ALOT of emo stuff... Then I rememberd that there was an EXCO meeting this morning... I hope Pn. Surita wont kill me for it, even though she told me herself that the meeting was today... So I was talking to Daniel Yoong for the whole morning online. Thanks Daniel for accompanying me until you had to go for work. After that I was waiting for people to show up online...
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting........
WAITING...........
And the first one to pop-up was Kevin. Which was weird. I would expect people like Jo Yee or Ken or Phei Fern to pop-up first. So I talked to him while watching Kabuto... I was wondering which one came first, Decade or Kabuto, so I thought 'I should ask Ken, he would know'... Turns out that he still wasn't online even though it was already 3pm... Then at 4.30pm, Kevin went off to meet them at Kayu... I was like 'POTONG!'... But then again, thanks Kevin for chatting with me, REALLY appreciate it. Then only I remembered that they all were going to Kayu today... Haiz... So sad for me... This lonely little boy at home... Doing nothing but sitting infont of his small laptop while thinking how I can fix my problem with her... Made me cry once today because I was thinking about my problems... I need to talk to people about them soon before I blow up... Even my english is getting worse due to my problems. ARGH!!! The 2 people I plan on talking about them to, one of them is most probably studying so her phone is definitely OFF! And the doesnt come online much and is EXPENSIVE to call... So I think I'll wait for either one of them to be free first...

Can somebody save me,
Cause Im thinking maybe,
That you can take me piece by piece....

Part of the starting of Fallin Apart by the All American Rejects... I feel exactly like those few sentences...

WHY?!

WHY? did you have to leave her?
WHY? do you continuously stab me? If you hate me so much, just kill me already?
WHY? am I such a BIG asshole?
WHY? do I feel this way for you?
WHY? cant I just say NO?

Im not strong enough to take all that burden ok? Let loose on me. Cause you and I BOTH know that I cant live up to what you want me to be...

I cant believe it...

I cant believe I was sitting there on the bridge for almost 2 hours this morning just thinking whether I should ring the bell... Definitely wasnt stalking. I was just on my way to Taekwondo class really early cause my parents weren't around. And considering that nobody was at the academy, I might as well have waited at a place where I could sit comfortably for free and just think about my problems. I cant believe I was sitting there for almost 2 hours! I have no idea how I survived to think about my problems without any music and not cry! Most probably cause of the traffic and also the fact that it was a public place.
At approximately 1.30p.m. I went to the academy feeling pretty okay after thinking about all my problems lately. After teaching Chow Yee, straight away moved on to the E.X. Academy Sparring Team training. IT WAS KILLER! I kicked Beh's elbow twice with the same leg on the same spot, got kicked on my left biscep AT LEAST 10 times(got a bruise for it) and clashed on my RIGHT knee at least 5 times. Considering the injury that I already have, my knee is feeling like it's gonna break off soon...
I went to the academy at 1.30p.m. When all the training had ended, I came back at about 7 p.m. and got a crazy shooting from my mom. But it was worth it cause I made a big improvement today. So YAY FOR ME!!!
Anyways, Im gonna sleep now. Have a good night everyone! BYE