Saturday, August 1, 2009

Empty

Lately I have been feeling empty. It's been more than a year since I felt this kind of empty. And yes, feeling empty can be classified into different kinds of empty. Mine is the type where I feel like I dont have anything. It's like I have no one that I can rely on anymore... Why do I feel that way? No idea... Do I think the same way as I feel? No. Because Im very sure there will always be someone I can rely on when I need help. So I have no worries. Just wanted to share it.

Tired from everything today...

This is gonna be a slightly emo post...
So today was Taekwondo AGM and Interact Installation and I was in charge of the PA system again along with Dominic and Siew Meng. I never wanna do PA ever again if I have to do that crap...
So let me explain, I am tired today. Started 1st of August by sleeping at 3a.m. This was due to my obsessive reading of comics. Then I woke up at 7.00a.m. Did what most NORMAL people do after waking up, and then went to school. Had Taekwondo practice. Found out that Wai Phun wasnt gonna be around to conduct the grading for the blue belts next week. So Master Ben got me to replace Wai Phun... Which sucks... Cause I have done for blue belts before during the last grading... So unfair... Then during the AGM part of the training today, I was promoted from Ass. Secretary to Vice President along side Jason Chen. That was the surprising part. This year we have 2 vice presidents. BUT! There's a catch to it. One of use will be eliminated by Pn. Zurina if she find any one of use not doing well enough. So yeah...

Now to the installation. The installation was killer tiring. Why? Cause Gavin Neo didnt do a good job getting his other stage management people to get all the mics and stuff ready... So I had to give the orders or do it myself. And when the it was time for the performances, I had to run back down to the sound mixer and adjust the mic volume and the music volume... So I was practically doing work the whole time. So yea... It was tiring. Wanna know the worst part? I did the just as much as Siew Meng, but he's the one who get's the thanks. Dominic and I didnt get a single shit from anyone! I was so freaking pissed. Still am though. Just that I didnt show it to anyone until now. I just dont get it, is saying a simple 'thank you' so hard? I hope the truth to why no one thanked Dom and I was because they didnt know what we did instead of thanking Siew Meng only just because he's in the BOD... If that was the case, Im so gonna fight for the top post next year... JOKING! Though I am interested... NVM! Back to topic.
After Installation, I helped to clean up for awhile and then left early with a bunch of friends to go to MCD. There, I had a choco top and a choco sundae. Then we all had Spite. Iain, Ken Yoong, Gavin, Chee Seng and I played this game with Iain's Sprite. This game's rule was very very simple. All we had to do was drink up as much of it as possible. BUT! When everyone agrees that the cup is empty of the liquid, the one who last put his straw in would be the one to refill it. It was fun because everyone would rush to take as much as possible and then just finish it in less than half a minute. So I had an extreme sugar rush. Still having it.
So I had lots of fun but traded it for lots of stress this morning.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

How lucky I am to find someone who can understand on my first try.

The other P understood. I feel very lucky to be able to have a friend to understand immediately after telling it the first time.

Was really pissed today cause there was some family problem. So to prevent myself from going berserk, I didnt talk to anyone and slept the whole day after recess... I wish to give my sincere apologies to all those who were ignored by me during the time after recess. Esepecially Shaina who was sitting beside me the whole time. I was supposed to talk to her during the Seni but I didnt because I slept... Im so evil... Feeling so guilty. Im sorry everyone.

And to the other P, hopefully you read this(though you have never read my blog before), you do not need to worry about me. I can control. And never look at me as if I was dying ever again. That look on your face is very very saddening. Cause you seem so so sad when you give that face... And frankly, it's scary... So dont show it ever again. Hopefully you read this blog... And this post too.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

What to do? Who to turn to?

I need to tell someone soon before I go berserk... But who to turn to??? Everyone will misunderstand... Cant turn to I, A, J, P, G, F, K, J1, Y... Dont want to turn to KK cause I've troubled him more than enough already...
Maybe I should go to the other P... I think she would get it... Cause she's more understanding than everyone thinks she is... Somehow better than A... Lol... Hopefully you all dont dont who I am talking about... To those who know and they are in this list, Im sorry. But I cant tell you because you wouldnt be able to understand. Past experiences would show this...

When I think you all are capable of understanding, I will tell you. Im not looking down on you. Im just scared that it will kill our relationships. Sorry.