People are right about me

Alot of people are so right about me. I SO dig up my own holes... And I really dont know why I do that? Am I lacking of attention? Maybe, but even if I was, I would search for my parents attention instead of my friends' attention. So can somebody tell me why I just keep doing this to myself? It sucks to be SO depressed and yet EXTREMELY hyper at the same time you know? Im can't believe the MBW Open is coming soon and yet Im in depression... So unfair...

Orewa Phei Fern-san daisuki daisuki daisuki desu

My desires

I have to remove my desires for more. I have to stop expecting that we can become more than just best friends. Cause I know deep inside, no matter how much I try to escape the fact, you and I can't be together. It just wouldn't work. Now all I want is what you most probably want as well. And you were the one who gave me the thought to it. I never thought it was possible due to my desires. But now I believe that it IS possible for you and I to be what we were before we told each other about our feelings for each other. And I really want that now.
I wonder if we both agree on that. That we should just be best friends and nothing more and hide our feelings and hopefully slowly lose them. Im not saying that I have anything against our feelings for each other. I just think that it would be the best option for the both of us. We put each other through crap almost everyday. So it should be best that we just stayed friends. Do you agree? I hope you do.

OREWA PHEI FERN-SAN DAISUKI DAISUKI DAISUKI DESU

Tell me please

I know that lately I have pissed alot of my friends off. Actually I have been doing that forever now. But I would like to know, who is pissed at me. If I dont know, how can I ever make it up to you people? And if I dont know why you're all pissed at me, I would never know how to fix it either. So please. Tell me. Whenever you people are pissed, just tell me. I need to change. I know that. I need to remove my stubborness before that, I know that too. Thank you, Ashikin, for that. Though you may not have faith in me that I can remove it, I WILL try. I just need to find out where to start first. So give me a stepping stone. And hopefully I can do my best to be the person you all want me to be.
Thank you.

I know I suck

I already know I suck. I also know that Im an ass and one of the biggest idiots on this planet! Nobody has to remind me about that. I just felt lonely this morning, that's all. Im sorry for saying that. Please forgive me. I really didn't mean it.
Besides that, I know that whenever we tell each other that thing, problems always come. It's a part of life, we can't escape it. Everyone will go through this kind of problems sooner or later. So please, forgive me. I really am truly sorry.

I wonder

A thought came to me this morning. What would happen to me if you were to leave me? Would I misunderstand? Would I get mad? Would I leave your side? Would I hate you? Would I kill you?

Answers to all that would be a big fat NO. I wouldn't leave you even if the world told me to. Cause I made a promise that I wouldn't leave you. I will always be there for you no matter what. Same goes for anyone who wants my help. Im just a call away.

But 1 thing that would definitely happen to me if you left me is that I would be devastated by it. So I hope you wont leave me. You can break my heart, just don't leave me.

Cant believe it...

I can't believe that I almost cried during training today... Crazy right? I was supposed to be happy. But because of the EXTREME lack of sleep, I was so dead... Till the training was cancelled. I almost cried cause I thought of that... It's so sad that I cant talk to anyone about it... Cause Im sworn to secrecy... ARGH

Since you left at 3.07a.m. , I couldn't stop thinking about you.
First I thought about you, then that, then him... It sucks when I can barely even manage afew days without seeing you. Am I crazy? SURE I AM! Crazily in love with you... Yet somehow, I feel happy for a certain reason. I dont think Im gonna emo tonight even though I thought about that thing... So you may relax and calm down when you wake up in the morning and read this post. Im sorry for one thing though, that is not being able to come online. I'll be going back to Taekwondo for the first time in 2 weeks.

FINALLY!!!