What should I do?

I seriously dont know who to ask for advice anymore. I need an some opinions... Leave your opinions for the following 2 situations on my C-Box.

1- I promised my mom that I wouldn't go on outings anymore after the one on Thursday. But on this coming Monday is a very dear friend's belated birthday dinner. I have no idea what I should do. I feel guilty for intentionally trying to break this promise. But then again, I have perfectly good reasons to break this promise. I dont know what to do... ARGH! HELP!

2- Should I tell my mother about how I feel for a certain girl? I tell my mom almost everything. But I dont know if I should... The thing is alot more complicated... Help?

Im scared

I went offline this morning to get some sleep at 2a.m. I slept almost immediately. At a certain point, close to 3a.m. I think, somthing woke me up. It was about you, leaving your entire bunch of friends and I after it failed. I woke up before the ceremony, finding the side of my pillow that I was sleeping on wet, and the other side of my face flooded with tears. I tried to not think about it and dried my tears after I woke up, but then when the clock struck 3 a.m., tears started to flow like a river into the sea. I prayed and prayed that you would be fine for almost an hour. When I had finally stopped crying, it was 5a.m. already. And the fact that with every passing day, I might have less time with you puts me into depression.

I cant live without you.

I wanna see you.

I wanna hold you in my arms.

I wanna love you forever.

AND

I want you to promise me that you will never leave me or any of us.

Please stay.

Are you a comforting person?

The answer is yes. To me that is. When Im down and need help, I dont even need to ask you(and I almost NEVER do) and you come to save me. Thank you.
You asked me if you are a comforting person, I say YES. There's no doubt about it.
I only just realized that so many people were there for me when I needed help, but somehow I managed to annoy them into not wanting to be there for me anymore. But YOU were the only one who stood there to bear with my idiocy even though it meant going through pain. You were there for me. And I never appreciated what you did for me. Thank you.
In fact, I never ever appreciated what ANY of my true friends did for me. And now, I feel like an ass. So...
Thank you, everyone.

Sorry dude

I only realized it last week. I couldnt stop thinking of her. Im sorry for doing this to you. Please forgive me. Im feel very strongly for her. And I cant do anything about it. But I dont regret feeling the way I feel for her. Please dont get mad at me.

What's wrong with me?

I had a bad night of sleep yesterday night. I woke up at 7.30a.m. this morning.
Why?
Because......
I couldn't stop thinking about you.
I couldn't stop worrying about you.
I couldn't stop dreaming about you.
I can't stop loving you either.
haha

If you want reasons after reading this post, go ahead and ask me.

Worried...

Im worried because of the way you have been talking to me tonight. It feels like you are slipping away. Isit my fault? Or am I just being paranoid? Please tell me...

Forgive me for everything tonight

I ask for forgiveness from Ken Yoong, Kevin and especially Phei Fern. Im sorry for worrying all of you. I can't explain myself to any of you for what I did. Trust me, I knew that you would all be worried and I would regret worrying all of you, but I needed the time to myself. I hope you can all understand that I need to be by myself at random times. Im sorry.

Guilt

I feel guilt. Not gonna say why. That's all for now.
Damn lazy to blog. Sorry.